Gamecock's Mind over Money

Started the new job and love it so far. I really like the job atmosphere and I like the people with whom I will work. I think this next year will be very exciting at work with a lot of ups and downs. I am a bit sensitive so I hope there are more ups than downs! Hopefully I will be very successful here. I am optimistic. Day 1 down and ready for day 2.

I posted this over in the forums but I know that people who blog don't venture over to the forums a lot and vice versa.

In my ever ongoing quest to get BB on board with our finances and to increase his financial IQ, I thought that introducing some graphs and charts to our refrigerator method might help us out a bit.

I want to be able to create some charts that I can use to visually help him and I understand where our finances are compared to our goals.

We currently pay an extra $100 a month on our mortgage- but in times of 'want' BB suddenly thinks that we can keep the extra $100 "this month." I want to create a graph chart to help him see how important it is to save the extra $100.

We have some savings accounts designated to save for various goals...once again BB sometimes thinks we can raid the savings accounts if the need arose. I want to create a line graph so he can see the importance of compounding interest and disciplined savings.

And BB never thinks we have enough accessible spending money. I want to create a pie chart so he can see how much money we really do have to spend compared to what we save.

...And maybe it would be fun to create a pie chart showing how much of our money is geared towards different spending categories such as bills, food, entertainment ext.

Hey it's Sunday afternoon and I am suddenly motivated.

I don't have Microsoft excel. Is there a website where I can create these graphs for free? Does anyone else have visual graphs that they use or is a column like budget the extent of what everyone is doing?

I start my new job tomorrow. Everyone keeps asking me if I am excited. Not really.

My last day at my old job was Friday and I really hated to go. I did really enjoy the job and for once I quit before I was burned out! So that was a rather sad day.

I start the new job tomorrow and will be in the library training all week. I know learning the process of financial aid will be tough and I actually am not looking forward to the brain strain all week.

I am looking forward to meeting more people because there were about 6 of us hired together and we will be working together on a new graduate program the school is going to start in the fall. I think I am the only financial aid person- but we will still be working very closely together to get the program off the ground.

I am looking forward to wearing the cute clothes I bought yesterday to prepare for the job. I spent $150 yesterday at the mall. Sadly only $70 of it was on work clothes. Even sadder the $70 only covered 2 tops and a pair of shoes. The rest of the items were tank tops and t shirts.

And finally I am looking forward to the new paycheck. After revising my budget I learned that I will be able to start saving $200 a month towards the big home renovation we want to do in a few years, I will start putting $165 a month away for retirement and receive a company match, my regular spending account will increase by $115 a week, and I will be able to put another $90 a month away for the 4 travel trips BB and I have planned for this year, starting in September.

So who is still going with the no air conditioning challenge?

Everything here is quiet. It's nice. I am still settled and content with life.

I have a friend from early high school that recently asked me for money. He has asked me before so it does not really bother me- but I think the first time he ever asked me to "invest" in his business plan- it was handled wrong and I think our friendship was forever altered. Maybe not forever...but it's been about 3 years and I am still on guard when I think about him.

The first time he asked he called me up and kind of jumped into this "I have such a good idea...it's going to make so much money...my father wants to be involved with me- this is our plan and it's so simple I know it will be a success." speech. He caught me off guard b/c we rarely talk on the phone- I had not heard from him in a few months (not uncommon), and I was like, "ok. Good for you! Starting your own business! Whatever floats your boat!"

He continues to tell me that he and his father have it all worked out, and his father already has so much experience owning businesses that it is a cant miss opportunity.

Then he jumped into the hard sell, "all I need is 15k to get it started. Why don't you be an investor and we will just send you checks every month?" That totally blew my mind and I was stunned really.

I had huge warning bells going off in my mind and wanted to get as far away from the subject as I could. The idea he presented to me...did not appeal to me. I could not see much of a profit margin, and this idea sounded a little too close to a mainstream technique that is already in use...and not really rolling in popularity. He might make a profit- but not enough for me, himself, and his dad to share and realize this as worth the risk or time. Beyond that- his father does have experience owning several small business like a cleaning comp, a laundromat and I guess he was very very successful...but lost EVERYTHING over 10 yrs ago due to tax evasion. Since then the parents have really struggled to live and my friend has been trying to support them from his own full time job.

So I politely told him that I don't feel comfortable investing in a business, and I don't have any liquid cash anyways because I was saving for a house. He didn't argue, just ended the conversation and that was it.

After that I did not hear from him for a YEAR. I was feeling "off" about the whole thing and sent him a friendly email later that week and got no response. I periodically contacted him on myspace or facebook and left him funny or friendly messages and got nothing. He was totally ignoring me. Months later I was headed back to my hometown for a vacation (did I mention he and this business he wanted me to be a part of is over 1200 miles away from me?) and wanted to hang out. Nothing. No response at all. I had always planning to invite him to my wedding but because he was not talking to me I didn't.

Recently-about 7-8 months ago he just sent me an email. It was just a "I don't remember why we were fighting but it's all in the past and I hope things are going well for you." email. I accepted his "apology" and just tried to be normal again.

So catching up with him, I found out: his father had been diagnosed with cancer and had been in treatment for almost a year. Now he is in remission but the whole family is pretty shaken up. The family has a lot of bills and my friend has been 100% focused on his family and keeping things together financially and emotionally for them.

I just felt a bit deceived. Clearly he learned the news about his father and wanted to put into action a plan that they had shared together as a last tribute to his father. Rather than turning to me for support, or to talk- he saw me as a bank and turned to me for money. He was ready to have me invest in a plan without telling me the 3rd partner was not going to be able to participate at all- and he as the primary business man might be too distracted himself to even be able to run the business efficiently.

So I felt I had dodged a really intense bullet. I wish him the best but the whole thing reminded me why you do not loan or invest in a friendship. The whole incident is always on my mind when we talk, but I know he was acting impulsively and emotionally and probably doesn't really only think of me as a contact who might be able to give him easy money.

So last night he IM'd me. He started off with how he earns almost 100k a year to do a job that is so easy and he really wants to challenge himself. Aside from his govt job, He is currently running the businesses his father had re-started after the whole tax incident and earns "about 25k" a year from those businesses. And although he makes 125k a year he is bored and has a "really great idea that he wants to start and his goal is to make a million dollars in 6 years off an initial 50k investment." I saw where this was going instantly and just couldn't believe it was going to start again. I steered the question away from him flat out asking me for the money but he mentioned several times about needing an investor.

I am just annoyed because he kept throwing that he earns so much money (far far more than I currently earn from my job) but has no available cash to pursue his "dream" of starting this business because he gives all his spare money to his parents. It's noble to support your parents, but with his current method of having no organization- only giving them money is kind of throwing good money after bad. I look at this guy who earns very very good money and lives in an apartment, has no outward trappings of wealth and apparently has zero savings. He is living paycheck to paycheck- not because of his lifestyle, but to support his parents lifestyle. And they are not really getting back on their feet either- everyone is limping along. There seems to be no organized budget at all in the family and stretching money does not seem to be anyone's strength. Clearly earning the money is not anyone's problem- I do believe the family has a good work ethic- but a person can never earn enough money if there is no organizing where it goes. I look at small character traits like that and realize that being in business with this family (from 1200 miles away) would drive. me. crazy.

So that was last night. I am curious to see if I ever hear from him again.

Update first: I decided to take the University job. It was the maternity benefits that did it for me. I want the option to have a baby even though I don't want one right now. That, and the title of financial aid director looks better than office manager for future resume needs. So hopefully I LIKE this job that I start in 2 weeks!

Now for whats on my mind currently:
I am finally settling into life with BB being gone. This has been a difficult season being separated from him because now we have the house to take care of. Or while he is gone- I have the house to take care of.

It's been hard, the house is a bigger responsibility than I anticipated, and it's a constant burden- worrying about the house/having to do something regarding the house. I feel like I am getting so far behind in housework/ errands. It has made me very resentful of BB being gone, and I have felt overwhelmed trying to juggle everything. I feel I never have time to relax. I don't know how single parents do anything- I don't even have a kid and I am stretched!

But this weekend I have caught up. I was able to relax this afternoon. I finally feel happy to be alone, finally feel independent, free and empowered living alone. Up till now I felt like I was missing half of me.

I think it's partially the new-found freedom I have now that I feel comfortable to venture out of my house and go on long walks. I have been taking longer and longer walks everyday and it is just my new thing that I love to do.

Yesterday Casey Jones and I walked clear across town, then walked to a dog park, a people park and finally came home. Today we walked down to the river to see the crowds out for the 4th of July. We stopped in every park we passed and just watched the people walk by. It was wonderful.

I feel so relaxed right now. The yard was mowed. Grocery shopping is done, vacuuming done, and tonight I am going to sit down on my front porch and watch all the fireworks going off in the street.

It's been a GREAT 4th of July. I finally am at peace with my life.

So I gave my 2 week notice at my current job and my boss was disappointed but understands that a 50% raise is too good to pass up.

Then a few hrs later after talking to his father (family owned/run business) my boss tells me he is willing to match the pay of the University job!! He says he really thinks I am worth it, he sees a lot of potential in me and because I am doing the work for 3 offices- I save the company the salaries of having a staff member in each office, so they have the money to match my University offer.

I totally did not see this coming.

It's been on my mind all day long. I told him I would give him an answer in the morning.

I don't know!! I totally go back and forth.

My current job is a small family run business with a staff of maybe 10 employees. It has a team environment where everyone helps each other because promoting the business is in everyone's best interest. It is limited though. It has been around 30 yrs and each office contains an office manager (me) and a technician. So there is no room to be promoted- unless I want to be a technician (which they would love for me to do but I could not do it well at this point and know it). But there is room for added responsibility. They are trying to grow the business in client base and getting into presentations, training, and reaching out to connect with the communities. I am busy now but could kind of write my ticket at this point about being a point person down the road. But it's an industry that does not really interest me, dealing with a population that also does not really interest me. Though I like how transparent the business side of it is to learn. Because it's just me there- I see and deal with all aspects of running the business. I appreciate that.

Then the university. Big corporate company. I have several packets of paperwork pertaining to rules and codes. I know it is going to be hierarchy and office politics. Different departments and bureaucracies. And I don't know really what my job will be like. I have never done it before- don't know how my job responsibilities will play out.

But! University is paying me good money (though current company will match it). University is also providing benefits (I currently pay $200 a month for my own benefits...current company cannot provide that)and 2 weeks paid vacation a year- starting this year! (current company provides 1 wk vacation starting 2nd year...though they do let me slip out to run errands or let me go 15 min early when we are not busy.)And University pays for 80 hrs of sick time a year. (current job has a flexible policy, nothing really set in stone.)

And! I am working in finances at the university. An area that has always interested me. Though I will not get to see the whole business process- just my little piece that I do then pass on and around it goes. And I do love students. So it is a population that interests me and I enjoy interacting with.

So it's kind of small homey somewhat rewarding job that is not at all prestigious but has potential to send me to a high position of responsibility quickly....

...or big. corporate, possibly politicky university job that is prestigious and pays better (when you count in the benefits) but might keep me trapped in the same role...forever with lots of ABILITY to move up- but maybe not much ROOM to move up.

Maybe I should see how much the difference in pay would be. If I pay $175 month in benefits- that is $2100.00 a year I currently pay for just me. University is giving me 3 options between $140-180 month that will cover me AND BB. So that might end up being about even but BB gets covered too.

2 weeks paid vacation is REALLY enticing. I have a lot of travel plans come up every year.

Looking at it long term- what job do I see myself at longest- neither. I am horrible but I tend to switch jobs/get burned out around the 1.5-2 yr mark. I'm not an ambitious person. I like my personal life over my working life. I am pretty sure that once I get pregnant within 5 yrs I will try to become a SAHM.

So really this is a short term decision. It's a big decision to make- but really I think I will be equally happy at either job.

So I think I got that big University job! Well- they called last week and asked me to fill out papers for a background check and told me that if my check comes out clean then I have the job.

Yaaa!!! (BTW- I FINALLY know why it is important to do well in college when you are not planning to further your education...this place actually wanted a copy of my undergrad and grad transcripts.) -I kind of assumed that degrees were somewhat worthless when a person with C's gets the same degree as someone with A's....but apparently your grades do matter in the real world- thank god I got Bs!

Anyways, the next day I got a VM saying my background check was clean and the University will be mailing me a formal letter of hire.

Its been 1 full week and no letter yet.

I don't feel comfortable giving my 2 wks notice at my current job till I have that letter in hand. I have known for a week now I was leaving and feel so bad because my boss keeps showing me how to do things!

When I first came into the office and had no idea what I was doing I feel that the business really suffered. I don't want my boss to go through that again now that its finally making progress- I want to give him as much notice as I can so he can take his time selecting someone and I can train them if he wants me to.

I wish I would get the letter already!

And they are offering me $1000 a year OVER my asking salary. They are getting a good deal on me but its just a nice gesture of goodwill and generosity to offer me a tad more than I asked for.

This will officially be my highest paying job I have ever had! (except 2007 when I was selling on ebay- I made crazy money before the market fell.) Now I just want the letter!

I don't know how much I really want to go into what happened yesterday...but I am asking for peoples knowledge of Bi Polar disorder.

As everyone knows, BB and I rent our upstairs unit to a bunch of college kids and the rent pays our mortgage.

Yesterday one of my tenants came into my downstairs unit in a trance like state and then proceeded to do some really scary things. I was home at the time and I am fine, but the incident had me a little panicked and confused.

I actually thought he was on some type of new designer drug, and so I ran outside and screamed for one of the other tenants to come and help me. The police were called and there was quite a bit of activity here.

Apparently- the boy is bi polar and is uncertain whether he needs his medication. I'm not completely clear if he always, sometimes or never takes his medication- but I was told that an 'episode' comes on every 5-6 months and the other 3 roomates kind of band together to watch him and control him. The episode takes 2-3 days to 'come on' (where he acts more and more bizaar) then there is 1-2 days of fledged craziness and then it passes. The boy was not able to be contained yesterday because 2 of the roomates have gone home for summer break and the remaining roomate did what he could but it wasnt enough.

So the cops came and took him to a mental institution until the parents could get down here from Michigan. From what I hear, the boy will have no memory of anything that happened.

So of course my friends who heard about the incident all broke out stories of people they knew who are bi polar and were dangerous. Stories of family members trying to hurt or kill other family members. My friends want me to kick the boy out of the house.

The boy is a good kid. He's responcible, he has a job,(or did- though I doubt Home Depot would be willing to overlook his absence over the last few days) pays his bills, never causes any problems. His episodes are something his 3 roomates are willing to put up with- so I think asking the boy to leave might be undeserved punishment. I would think that if his own roomates are willing to deal with this- I should be willing to deal too. Asking him to move out would just increase his problems and possibly place him alone or with people who are not able to handle his episodes- leading to more problems for him.

I thought bi-polar was only about depression/mania...so sleepy depression and then lots of activity. This boy was kind of tranced out, not talking at all but answering questions in a yes/no format, not really following social norms, forgetful, impulsive, and seemed to forget that clothing is not optional- its required!

I guess I am wondering about how often 'dangerous' traits are found in bi polar people. I just want to be sure he wont get more aggressive the next episode. He was manageable this time around...I don't know. His roommate was very helpful in providing me with knowledge but I worry maybe I got the toned down version to not alarm me or to not be responsible for me kicking him out.

So I think I am looking for words of encouragement. I am looking to hear that there are different levels of bi polar and he doesn't sound like the dangerous type. I want to keep him here- but I dont want him breaking into my unit, or setting the house on fire, or pulling a weapon on anyone.

Somehow I only spent $23.00 last night.

We went to 3 places, I bought a round for my 2 girls and me...I am very not feeling well this morning...but rummaging through my purse I only spent $23.00.

That's cool. I had way more fun than $23.00 worth last night! So last night was a success!

I'm going to spend money tonight. I am going to waste money tonight. I am going to regret it all tomorrow.

I have had an unusually tight rein on my spending this month so far, I have spent far far less than I normally do by mid month. Last night I nearly worked myself into tears because I was SOOOO sick of spaghetti but that's all that was in my pantry. (It's cheap and I work under the code of: If I don't buy it I wont want it.)

So to relieve some of my pent up money saving stress, and to make myself feel like I have a life- I invited a few girlfriends to go out dancing with me tonight. I could do it frugally but I am tired of calculating and doing without. I have money in the budget for this but I haven't been spending it. Last night I saw the consequences of saving even my spending money.

Tonight I dance. Tonight I drink. Tonight I buy a round for my friends because I want to enjoy my life more than my fat bank account.

And tomorrow I will be hit with a major emergency and really regret blowing the money tonight. That's the way the money gods work. Their vindictive like that.

Bring it on money gods. Bring it.

And it feels GLORIOUS!!

Seriously I could have held out but I have a friend coming over to watch TV tonight. I don't want her to get uncomfortable.

So good luck to all you stubborn no cold air people.

At the moment we only have:

Househopeful (Deleware)
Koppur (Massachusetts)
Toyguy (Ohio) ((my bet is on this one))
Mom-from-Missouri (Montana..just kidding! Had to go there)
Apprentice (Ireland)
Whitestripe (Australia) ((Where it's WINTER!))
Caoineag (Colorado)


Anyone else?

I had the job interview today with the University that I applied for before getting my current job. but I don't want to jinx anything. I thought I had it locked up going into the interview but she really didn't give me any clue during the interview that she liked me. She is making decisions next week. I really cant figure out either way if she liked me or not. Surprising because she was super enthusiastic on the phone with me.

I keep reminding myself that I like my current job (because I do-all day up until the interview I was debating not even going), but who am I kidding? I want that extra $10,000 a year. That's an extra $800 a month! I could start funding my retirement account again!

(small voice) I have already created a new budget with my new paycheck. I know! - I probably jinxed it just running the numbers like that.

Well it's June 14th and I have not used the air conditioning!

We had a no heat contest in the fall that had quite a few contestants well into winter- anyone want to step up to the "no air conditioning" plate?

I thought of turning mine on today but decided to suffer through- reminding me to see how everyone else is doing.

I can walk downtown! I have lived here 5 months and never had the nerve to do it!

I know I touched on the whole living in a transitional neighborhood thing yesterday; we have about 4 unsafe streets north of us, and 3 streets east of us separating my house from the safer, easygoing touristy historic district of Savannah. I actually live across the street from the historic district line, but it's still pretty rough. (and South or West of us..gets much worse.) It's literally less than a min car ride before you have crossed into the better neighborhoods but I have never been brave enough to make the walk over there. A few weeks ago I became comfortable circling my own block when walking my dog.

Well, I did it (with my pit bull)!!! Yesterday I decided to walk East along the busiest road for 3 streets and turn North along another busy street. Within 10 min I was well into the historic district and enjoying beautiful massive victorian houses all around me!

We walked to the central park where Casey Jones enjoyed a long drink from the doggy fountain and I was able to sit at an outdoor cafe for a drink.

Then we walked further North and sat down at the park where BB and I were married 8 months ago.

And we made it home safely too!

This is a huge feat for me. I'm not normally a frightened person, but I rarely see people pleasure walking in my neighborhood (ok only once that I can think of). And it was a compromise I made to get into my house but was disappointed to know that we were not able to walk to bars, restaurants and enjoy the walkability of the city due to the location we were living. Finding parking in the city is actually not that difficult but it always did irritate me to be so close but feel so separated from all the places we like to go.

But now we CAN walk! (Only in daylight with a pit bull and without a purse or bag.)And we did it again this morning just to make sure yesterday wasnt a fluke. Nope- its ok. People stayed a respectable distance from my dog. It helps that she goes bats**t crazy every time she sees a stray cat- makes her look really mean. I wasnt carrying a purse or wearing anything to entice anyone to try to rob me and I think that helped.

So it might be several years before the neighborhood changes around enough for me to be able to REALLY walk to places in the city I need to go for shopping or meeting friends- (meaning walking without a dog, with a purse, possibly after dark and dressed somewhat nice)- but this is a really surprising and triumphant start!

I am so excited I don't need to drive 4 streets away, park and take my dog for a walk! I really feel like I am a part of the city now!

And just one observation- many men stopped to ask me if I have puppies or if I breed Casey Jones and I replied she is a shelter dog, not a purebred. So no, I don't breed her. The men were surprised she was from a shelter and asked "from a shelter? Around here?" So I wonder if my city does not allow pit bulls to be adopted out. That's too bad if there is some ban on pit bulls.

I decided to try to shave down my $125.00 monthly cable/phone/internet bill. I learned that if I return the HDTV converter box (allows us to watch everything on TV in High def) I will save $15.00 a month. BB is gone for 3 more months and he took the main TV with him, so the box is not even being used right now.

The cable company wanted $20.00 to send a tech to pick up the box, or I can return it myself for free. I opted to take it in myself.

As I stood in line waiting to return the box I congratulated myself on my decision to take the box in myself and save myself the $20.00. At work I earn $10/ hr and would have to be at work 2 hrs just to pay the tech to come and pick up the box- vs the 1/2 hr of time spent standing in line for free.

After thinking all these self- congratulatory thoughts I thought about how to lower my bundled services bill still farther. I pay $20 a month for a land phone line that I don't even use. We only have the land line so that the home security alarm will work in the house. So we pay $60 a month in home security services plus $20 a month on a land line to be able to activate the home security.

It sure would be nice to make that $80 bill go away. Unfortunately, BB and I purchased our house in a "transitional" or "up and coming" area and we very much need the security alarm. As I was standing in line today mulling it over- trying to anticipate the day that we could cancel both the home alarm and useless land line- I realized that we were actually paying a "hidden cost" associated with our house.

BB and I chose this house because 1) we love it and 2)because it was very inexpensive due to its location. However- buying a house in a bad area is costing us $1000 a year that we wouldn't ordinarily have had to pay.

If I really was concerned I could do some type of cost analysis to see if the lowered price of the house was worth the $1000 a year we pay (but off hand I think we still come out ahead), but really its a useless math problem. We bought the house- nothing we can do about it now.

I still love the house. Paying $80 a month on a service that we wouldn't need if we were living somewhere else is ok with me if that means we can live here. Its just an epiphany I had today while standing in a Comcast line.

And on another topic- my mortgage bill was paid today. I'm a nerd. I LOVE paying my mortgage bill!

Just finished up the numbers regarding the spending during May and it was not too bad, but June will be better. I can feel it!

I posted the sheet of May's spending on my refrigerator right next to April's numbers, which is next to March's numbers. It helps me to visually scan across the pages to know that my grocery use has increased every month, but eating out declined. My water bill skyrocketed- I need to cut back on watering the lawn.

I started using the fridge as a 'financial update board' last year around August because it's the only spot my husband hangs around while he eats peanut butter out of (his own!) jar.

At the time it was him who was spending excessively on fast food, video games and it was putting us into a big gaping negative cash flow hole. I really resented him for spending on useless items when I was cutting back/cutting back/and cutting back more to try and save money. I felt that every hundred dollars a month I saved by forgoing this or that- he would spend it for 1 pair of shoes. Or in a gift for me. And we were never getting anywhere!

So having the list of the previous months spending posted right where he was sure to see it everyday was my way of trying to really wake him up. And it worked! It taught him the importance of tracking the spending- he writes down his purchases on the blank sheet posted next to the previous months numbers. It took a month or two of me always asking him to remember every purchase, but now he diligently writes down everything at the end of the day. I made myself a rule to NEVER make a comment about any of the purchases he recorded on the fridge. I didn't want to start a fight, or encourage him to 'omit' certain items that would start a fight. After a few months he saw for himself how much his fast food added up. He was able to not only distinguish between the smart purchases, but to see the difference in his spending and my spending.

And he sometimes makes comments about the culminated costs of certain categories- such as eating out, or home improvement.

He also got an education in how much money our household really pulls in. We have so many sources of income that change depending on the time of year, that it is hard to see the large numbers. We both got a pleasant surprise that we pull in close to $3500 a month- and we were equally disappointed to see that it was being spent so frivolously.

The fridge method opened the door for him to ask me questions. In the car one day he told me about how he told his friend he did not want to replace his older truck because he wants to be "financially free." I was thrilled that he was listening to me and taking an interest.

The fridge method works for us. It was a big BIG turning point for BB and me. Being able to see where our money is going, dealing with the accountability of putting our purchases on the sheet of paper for everyone to see, congratulating each other when one category of spending is less than the previous month, or savings has increased.

And now I live alone while BB is in TX for 3 more months. I could easily de-clutter the fridge and keep the paperwork in a drawer, but I continue the fridge method. I am proud of our spending habits, our accomplishments and don't want to jinx whatever it is about the fridge that helps us. And it's a great conversation piece for friends and family who visit. Helping to get the debt/saving money conversation going.

Anyways, I talked about my fridge method when I started it almost a year ago- but I wanted to write about it for new members. I feel very in control over the finances now. I only write about tweaking things nowadays. But less than a year ago I felt like we were working backwards financially.

The one thing I might need to do is get some cuter magnets though.

(BTW- the last 2 months WE HAVE spent more money than we were earning. You can see it plain as day in one of the pictures. We have been using the money from savings. We did just buy a house, and I did just get a job 2 weeks ago. June should be a positive cash flow month.)

Things are going well. I have recently had a few financial issues crop up.

*BB signed his contract for his new/old team and he is getting paid his original amount! But they will not reimburse him for the money he lost during the 1 month he was traded. I am happy for him, he did very well considering what they could have made him sign. So far he has had 2 outings with the team- did ok the first outing- allowed 1 run- but last night he did much better allowing no runs in 3 innings, though 2 people got on base. (just my moment to brag)

* I got my first paycheck from my new job and they only took out $7.00 for taxes!? It was for 1 weeks pay- but doesn't that seem wrong? I don't really understand what to file under- so I filed married with 1 dependent. (BB makes less than 10k a year so he feels like a dependent sometimes. LOL.)

*I have had 3 NSD's in a row! It is much much easier to not spend money when BB is away. I feel much "healthier" financially- finally saving money coming in than having a negative cash flow.

* I got to try out my new 2009 budget now that June has rolled around. It's a little complicated. I had to open 2 new savings accounts and break up checks to go into different accounts. I need to learn a streamlined version. I currently have 3 savings accounts and 1 checking account...is that excessive?

Nothing new to report other than I enjoy reading everyone's blogs. I don't have time to read every blog, sometimes I miss a whole days worth of blogs- but I try to hit this site at least once a day and see whats going on.

Everyone here is very enthusiastic, meticulous, and bright. It's a breath of fresh air to see well thought out actions, thoughts of future consequences, and discipline.

Sometimes it's a nice relief from the real world- where everyone appears impatient, foolish and selfish.

Maybe it was just a hard day.

I have decided to stop thinking about the whole job situation. The university sent me a personality quiz to fill out, they want me to interview with the dean of the program...this is all a little bigger and more important than I was expecting. I might not even get this job.

BB is in the midst of a trade. His TX team from last year traded him right before the season started and forced him to swallow a $400 a month pay cut (it was accept the trade or be released) and we were bitter. Very bitter. But now his original TX team just traded back for him, and he will be driving to the TX team tomorrow. He talked to the manager of the TX team and explained that he cannot play for such a low salary and the new manager said "Don't worry, I'll take care of you." That's enough for BB to trust that he will be restored to his original contract amount, but I don't trust it. The new/original team does not need to provide the original contract amount, they are only required to match his current contract. BB wont see his new contract until he is in TX and then he will sign it. So they will have him in a tough spot to try and negotiate.

BUT, I refuse to worry. I'm just not going to. It's BB's last season- he's not there to make money, he's there to play. Back home, we are getting the bills paid.

I just feel like BB gets used and taken advantage. That's what upsets me about the contracts and salaries. He's worth more but always accepts low salaries because he is a bad negotiator and deep down he is afraid that he wont get to play if he does not take whats on the table.

The other night BB was throwing himself a pity party and tried to use the old line on me "This is my last year playing because YOU Gamecock are making me retire." I told him that if that's how he wants to view it then fine. But the reality is that he is in a financial mess because he is almost 30 and has no retirement, no savings, and only $100 in his account at any given time. It's not that he spends- it's that he makes enough from his season to live and save maybe $1000 for the off season. That $1000 goes quick. If he wants to retire someday, if he wants a house to live in, if he wants to eat food- it's time for him to accept responsibility for achieving it. I guess I am ranting. But I feel like, though he doesn't COST much- it's still several hundred dollars a month to pay for his half of the bills and provide him $ for gas and what not. He shouldn't expect people around him to just pay for his bills because they love him and he's a nice guy. And it's not that I support him often, just since we moved in Feb because there was not enough time for him to find work before the season started- usually he works during the off season making just enough $ to cover his half of the bills. But I guess it's the whole leaving me the burden of an emergency fund, and savings, and retirement that I am tired of. I'm just at a stopping point. Mentally I am just-done.

If he wants to believe I am making him quit and get a job- then he can say that. But in reality- life is making him quit. As we get older, life costs more. And every year that he puts off contributing to retirement or savings is a year he needs to catch up on when he does begin. And I am tired of trying to save enough for the both of us.

Wow- I guess that was quite a rant. Really- I emotionally swing back and forth regarding this whole baseball thing. I know he does too. I guess today I am in the mood to be tired of baseball.

Anyways, that's whats going on here.

I hate bugging people about my job. But I have been working at job A for 8 days. I have it about 80% down. My boss has put in a fair amount of time showing me software, procedures and stuff. It is mildly stressful, likely to be not at all stressful when I have the hang of it. I like it. I don't love it. Nothing too exciting, but it's pleasant. It pays $10 hr and maybe $50 week commission (depends). No benefits/no vacation (though I can take a day off here and there- the boss is cool.)/no raise till December.

Job B at the University has called again. They want to set up a job interview for 1.5 weeks from now. They want to fill the position by early July. It's a sales job, meeting quotas (I think I will be good at it), and don't know much else about it. I asked for $15 hr and was told it would not be a problem. Don't know about benefits/vacation/raises/commission.

I am kind of 'invested' in job A, and feel they are 'invested' in me.

I kind of want to approach job A and explain the situation. That job B might be available, and will pay $15 hr and I don't want to leave Job A, I like it, but cannot pass up the extra $5 hr. Then ask if Job A can match it.

I feel that Job A will then think "well- she is worth that pay, but what if she comes back to us in 1 month and asks for another raise? Whoever heard of an employee threatening for a raise after 1 week? When will it stop?"

So- suggestions?

I know everyone is going to come at me that I should interview first then worry about this. But if I interview for Job B, I need to take time off work at Job A- and would rather not go through the guilt of lying- or living in this "what do I do?" mindset.

I am working on a budget to use for the rest of 2009, now that I am working, and can predict my future paychecks. I am trying to include as many of my 2009 savings goals as I can. I am worried I made the budget too tight. I am not including any income my husband makes because he needs the money for his own expenses.

(My CA & GA incomes are rental incomes I net after monthly associated fees are paid. )

2009 Year Budget Allotment
starting June 1
7 months left in the calendar year

*CA Income: $1250 /month
Save 100% for future CA renovation
$1250 x 7 = $8750.00

*GA Income:$1050/month
100% for GA Mortgage Payment

*Work Income:$1300/month = Bills

Monthly Bills = $605 House Bills +$360 Savings +$335 Spending

$65 Brinks Home Alarm Security
$170 medical Insurance
$100 electric
$40 water
$120 Car(s)& Umbrella insurance
$110 cable/phone/internet
$300 Emergency Fund
$60 vacation/wedding travel
$335 spending

Emergency Savings /Goal $4,000
Start with $1900.00
$300 month EF
$300 x 7=2100.00 + $1900 start =$4,000

Wedding-Vacation-Travel/Goal= $420
$15 Week/$60 Month x 7=$420

Spending
$335.00 spending/4= $83 a week to spend

Home Improvement Savings
(commission checks only)
$300-600 monthly Commission
$2100.00-$4200.00 a year

(Fun Mortgage Fact: Paying $1050.00 every month (extra $108)
Total interest paid over the life of the loan (no pre-payment): $126,850.90
Total interest paid over the life of the loan (with pre-payment): $88,420.74
Saving:
Total interest saved: $38,430.17
30 yr loan will become a 22 yr loan)

So is this a do-able budget or am I setting myself up for failure?

Well, I guess I have a full time permanent job. My boss was not in the office today, but I am on the schedule for Monday, and the HR staff sent me paperwork to fill out.

Looking through the papers, I learned: That I am being paid $10 hr, I do not get benefits, I get 5 vacation days after 1 yr work, I do not get a raise/evaluation until December.

I am disappointed. I certainly expected a full time position that I ended up in would pay a good amount more, and provide benefits. Emotionally I swing from anger and feeling used to happy to be employed. I am angry at myself for naming such a low pay and believing I would be happy at that level of pay. I was just so tired of not getting the other jobs, that I thought pay might be a tipping factor in favor of hiring me- so I undercut myself by a lot. Now I have negative thoughts about this job. It's my own fault, but I am bitter.

I know most jobs only provide at the most 5% raises, and at that rate it would take me 5 or more years to make the money I earned at my last job- so I guess I worked my way into a situation where I have to leave this job. Just a matter of figuring out the timing. How long to stay and have them be a great reference? Whats the shortest I can stay and use them as a great reference?

I am not sure what I am going to do as far as looking for other employment, but if that University job I talked about earlier comes calling, I should have no guilt leaving this job behind.

Anyways, today work was easier than it's been. I am getting better at the job. Or- I am getting better at figuring things out. There is still much to learn, but since I now know the basics- the rest is getting easier.

Hey- at least I accomplished one of my 2009 goals! (getting a full time job).

And at least I will have a positive cash flow rather than the negative cash flow of the last 3 1/2 months. Now I can get started accomplishing those other 2009 goals!

(See?? Bitterness to optimism, I don't know how I feel about this job.)

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. It's the new job. I have been there a few days, and I'm not sure how I fit into it.

I am in the transition phase adjusting to my new job and it is stressful. I thought this was a temp job walking in, with an option to become permanent- but everything might be different now.

As a new employee, I am not sure whats going on, but the company seems understaffed. My boss is taking over the work of 2 additional offices while they find replacements for the empty offices- and I am trying to keep up with the secretary work that comes with those new offices- until they find office managers for those locations- as well as handle the regular, local office. It was proposed that I was going to be traveling between 2 offices- but would work in the local office while the local manager is on vacation.

My local stint is finished and now I have been told the permanant local manager might be getting promoted and will not be returning back. So they need me to fill in during this adjustment time.

I now don't know if I might be in consideration for the local job, if I am still in the plans for the traveling job, or if they even want to keep me at all.

I dont have an email, I dont know about benefits/vacation time/commission/pay schedule, and I am actually not on the payroll yet. I have contacted HR twice to fax me paperwork, but the HR person was sick one day, and I have a suspicion our fax machine is broken. My boss hasn't looked at it- it's not a priority for him right now, but none of my faxes to clients have gone through, and we have never received a fax. (Though I don't know if anyone has tried to send us one- being an office I would assume faxes are coming in as often as I try to send them out.) -Anyways, the fax machine is not very important to this story.

I am a bit confused about the whole thing. I am confused about where I fit into the company, and how I am performing at the company. I don't know if I am doing well. I have not created any problems, but I kill myself at work to teach myself how the software runs, how the business is organized, and to figure out solutions to client complaints without bothering my boss.

Sometimes I spend 20 min trying to figure out something I either- have been shown how to do before, but have forgotten, or I have not been shown, but inherently know it is easy to figure out and I should know it. I finally give up and ask my boss about it. I get a hesitant blank "your kidding me right?" look and then I am shown how to do it, or I get the "I'll just do it later" response. (and then I STILL don't know how to do it!) So in those times, I am certain they will not keep me at the job, they will question their judgment in hiring me, and decide they are better off hiring someone else. But then occasionally, my boss will show me how to do something new. Completely new- not something I was doing wrong before. An added responcibility. In these cases I am relieved I am being prepared for the future, but I just don't feel secure.

I guess they are testing out me, I am testing out them, and that's why this is stressful.

When is it over? When do I get my self confidence back? When do I start getting a better idea of what I am expected to do? I thought this job would be easy as cake. And I think it will be easy in the future. But filling in for someone who already does it so well- I feel like I am just totally incompetent.

Well I appreciate all the career advice. Seems I just need to do what is right for me and not worry about how it disrupts the employer. I hate being the cause of problems, but I cant look out for others when it conflicts with looking out for me.

On to other ramblings...

BB has changed a bit in the last few months. Matured...not really the right word. Changed his outlook, or his sense of identity.

Since purchasing the house, BB has been a bit different. He loves owning the house. He loves the house, as do I. He loves making improvements, he loves talking about future improvements.(And he has a lot of big expensive dreams for this house.)

BB has been less focused on baseball. This was the first time he went off for the season without putting in a million hours to prepare for the season. Dare I say he was unprepared for the season.
He just wasn't focused on baseball. Baseball wasn't a priority. The house was a priority.

It seems BB has a new sense of accomplishment besides baseball. I think BB believed 'baseball' was his thing. People made more money, people had boats and cars, but no one was a pro baller and that was what set BB apart. That was what BB accomplished in life.

But owning the house has given BB a new focus. His family is so proud of him, he is so proud of himself. He really feels independent from his parents, the house has grown him up some.

And now BB is faced with a bit of a conflict. He sees how much money it takes to carry the house, he has dreams of major improvements...and he cant do any of it on his baseball salary. Even when I find a full time job, we cannot spread the money to go to all the areas we need to be saving (EF/retirement/savings for a baby/improvements). He finally sees the cost of continueing to chase the baseball dream.

And so yesterday one of his friends who is a pro scout called BB and asked when he will be retiring. He says he can get BB a job as a pro scout starting off at $35k a year, with a company car, a cell phone and a computer. And BB accepted.

Well, nothing is final. Everyone has to wait till October when the season ends before new scouts are hired on. But BB told him that he does want a scouting job.

I cant help but imagine our life when BB is making a real paycheck. I am already spending the money in my head! (not on clothes, but on mortgage paydown, and savings accounts.)

BB seems ok that this is his last year. For the first time he feels aggravated and used for the money he is (not) making. He feels more valuable than the money he is making. This coming from a man who last year said he would play for free if he had too...this is quite a change.

I truly think it was finding a sense of pride outside of baseball. It was finding 'something' that was worth sacrificing the baseball dream, or finding a new step in life that made him feel he has lived out this dream, and there is a new dream he wants to get started on.

For me, I am cautious. Once BB gets into the swing of the season, starts winning some games- this could all change. Winning and yelling fans have a strong pull on him.

If he changes his mind, I will be disapointed. I cant pay everything on my own, and I will resent him. Sometimes I resent him already. But those days a few and far between, but hard when they come. It helps me NOT resent him knowing that this is the last season.

Baseball players careers always end badly. They rarely retire on top. For a player to retire, they are either injured beyond rehabilitation, or they are released because they are not good enough. One is a source of bitterness and lifelong pain, the other is humiliating and also causes bitterness. If BB retired because he found another interest (our house, or a job), then he has a chance to go out on his terms. He has a chance to make the decision, rather than having it made for him. But he needs to really mentally be prepared to retire. He needs to be excited to retire. He needs to feel like baseball is holding him back from something, rather than providing him with something.

I think he is close to there. He looks at the game differently than he did. He talks more like a coach or a scout than a player. He assess other players abilities and thinks about the team as a dynamic whole, rather than how he alone is contributing. He is concerned with helping other players, rather than looking at them as competition. He's just talking and thinking a little differently than last year.

And if he does decide to retire after the season- I will feel a sense of accomplishment in myself. That I didn't force him to retire and give up his dream. That I stood by him and supported him. I will feel proud that I do have a husband who dreams big and tries. (It's easier to be proud that your spouse dreams when they are done dreaming and have given up).

I hope that if he does retire- that he felt he went as far as he could. That he played till the end, and he is excited for a new chapter in life. I do get excited about a bigger paycheck coming in, but know that the paycheck wont be big enough if he ends up regretting the decision and complains for the rest of his (our) life.

And this is all very far into the future. We still have to get me a regular employment job, and finish out this season before we can see what options are available for him. But it keeps me looking ahead.

Its raining cats & dogs outside, a good day to get into a blog and organize whats on my mind.

I recently posted my concern for a job offer paying below my worth. Well-the plot thickens.

I decided to have a discussion at the end of the week and explain my value and ask for more money. I decided to walk away if I don't get $13.00 hr.

Then yesterday morning I got a phone call. The call is from a local university about a job I reaaallllyyy want and would be perfect for. I had applied for the job weeks ago, but university bureaucracy- everything takes forever.

The university is starting up a masters in business program in the fall and will need an enrollment counselor to talk with students, sell the program and handle the paperwork. The woman asked me my pay rate and I boldly told her I need $15 per hour and she said that was no problem. We talked further and she said she will be in town conducting interviews in June, and hopes to have the position filled in early July.

I REALLY want this job. It's right in line with previous work I have done, continuing education is an industry I like, and I would be getting in at the ground floor of a huge University program. And it pays well! And BB plans to start finishing his college degree in the fall and I wonder if I might get a discount for him...or maybe a free education for him.

So now the question is what to do. I start the office job tomorrow. The university will not be interviewing for 2 weeks, or fill the position for 6 weeks.

Do I continue with my plan to raise my pay at the office even though I am hoping I will be providing my 2 weeks notice in 4 weeks? Do I work at the office for $10 hr for the next few weeks, then negotiate a higher pay in 4 weeks if I do not receive the University position?

I do want to work for the next few weeks while waiting on the University thing to pan out. But I also know I might not get the University job no matter how much I think I am perfect for it. I don't want to screw over this new/current employer, but do want to take the University job if it is offered. What should I do?

I think I need help. I feel a bit overwhelmed and disappointed right now.

I interviewed for a job a few days ago. An office job that is not terribly exciting but I know I can do it easily.

Early in the interview the man explained to me it was a temp job; to work for 1 week while his regular staff manager was on vacation. I knew it was for 1 week, it was in the job ad. 1 weeks pay is 1 weeks pay for the unemployed right now.

So, he asks me what salary I want to be paid. I said $10.00 per hour. I said this because I have no idea of this jobs pay grade, and $10 hr is my rock bottom salary. I have not been hired for several other jobs that I interviewed for, and I'm a bit desperate. I want this week long job and $400 minus taxes is better than $0.

So the interview continues and I know I can do the job. It's not difficult.

Well the interviewer starts to like me and says he might be able to hire me on as a 'floating manager' between 2 of his other offices that are each located an hour away. Neither of those 2 offices has a manager, though this local office does have a manager.

I agree to this idea and say I am fine with it. And I am fine with it. I don't mind the idea of driving and spending 2-3 days at each office a week.

So a few days later he calls to offer me the job(s). He asks me to work at the local office for the week the manager is on vacation, and to then work permanently as a floating manager between the other 2 offices each located an hour away.

He tells me the pay is $10 hr (surprise surprise) and I am going to start this week for training.

Now onto my dilemma-
$10 hr is fine for a week long temp job that is 10 min from where I live.

I have a problem driving 2 hrs a day unpaid, to work for $10 an hour. And not get benefits.

I currently pay $200 a month for my own benefits and was looking forward to dropping that bill once I started working full time. Or at least getting paid enough that the $200 a month wasn't a large chunk of change.

I figure, that after paying out of pocket for gas/milage, my own benefits, PLUS 10 hours of unpaid driving a week- I am clearing around $5 an hour.

I need to renegotiate with this employer. I figure I will do the 1 week in the local office for $10 hr, and ask for a time to meet with him at the end of the week to try to renegotiate my pay rate.

But is this a satisfactory argument? I am a horrible horrible negotiator.I am so uncomfortable doing it. I don't know what is reasonable to ask for. I am not familiar with the industry or this companies profit margin to know what might be a standard pay grade. I do believe the local office manager might be getting paid MORE- because this man does not want her training me, I will have no contact with her though I will be doing her job for the week she is on vacation. I would guess he doesn't want us talking about our salaries.

I don't care if I make more or less than this woman. I care about making the money I am worth. I care about not having this sick feeling in my stomach thinking about what happens if gas prices rise, or the mileage that will be added on my car, or my unpaid commute everyday.

He doesn't have to hire two employees, I am doing the job of 2 people, saving him one salary.

I just want a pay that doesn't make me feel insulted or angry. Am I being reasonable...What can I say to effectively get a raise?

First, I hope every mother had a wonderful mothers day today.

I spent the day doing odds and ends around the house. It was great getting so much little stuff done in between TV breaks.

I have spent the last few weeks very enthusiastically planting to get a full cottage garden effect all around the house. Over the last week or so- the enthusiasm puttered out as the days got hotter. I gave myself props that my gardening was finished before it got too hot to plant...but today I learned how much water it takes to keep the garden looking healthy. I found so many wilted plants that I now think I might have to water everyday to keep my plantings alive this summer.

I also touch up painted the back door. BB painted it a nice bright red, but the white trim needed to be touched up. I got that done today.

I polished the hardwood floors. I use orange glow, and like the sheen it leaves behind. I hope it is healthy for my 90 yr old floors..I know todays hard wood is not the same as old hardwood was, and new wood products might damage old wood.

And the piece de resistance...I started on the pocket doors. BB and I got them working months ago- but a previous owner had slapped a coat of paint over them, also covering up the brass door locking mechanism with paint. I spent 2 hours today scraping the paint off the brass locks and am so proud of how they turned out. The 2 hours wasnt too bad. The doors divide the living room and dining room- so I listened to a few "House" episodes while I scraped.
Before:


After:


Overall a low spend day. Just picked up some tools at home depot that I thought I would need for the doors- and didn't even use them! A razor blade ended up being the best tool of all!

Oh, BBs mothers day gift was a bit spendy. Used 1-800-flowers to deliver a basket of sunflowers to BB's mom- $85.00!! And it wasn't a same day delivery! I booked this 3 days before delivery! I feel bad that BB's mom probably thinks we spent $30 based on the quality/quantity of the flowers- but that company is expensive and we spent way more than I really was prepared to spend. Oh well.

Our metal roof is finished! I love it. It's beautiful. But I especially love knowing its totally paid for, and I will not have to think about the roof for at least 20 years. Peace of mind is priceless.

Without further ado- here it is!

Not much to report here. Did my monthly spending chart for April and of course we are in the red again, living a lot off savings while I am still looking for a job.

What kills me is we WHY we went over our income.

Everything was too much. We spent in one month what you would think would take 3 or 4 months to spend.

I think the problem is neither of us had jobs. In FL BB was spending about 25 hrs a week providing pitching lessons, and I was spending about the same on eBay.

Now in GA we have TONS of free time.

I look over last months spending and see a lot of "free time."

We had 4 different groups of friends visit us in one month. Our "eating out" bill was outrageous. About $500 more than normal. So for every group of friends that came to visit, we spent about $100 on eating out. Sounds about right. After you pay for their meal, the bill is generally about $50.00. Add in a night of drinking, and a few pizzas for each visit...then BB and I also said 'goodbye' in April. He left for the season and we had numerous dinners together before he left.

Our home improvement category is high. I didnt realize we spent $350 on paint/paint tools last month. We painted the kitchen (and kitchen ceiling), deck, stairs,foundation,front/back door and front trim...yeah, maybe that adds up to $350.00. Wow. Adds up fast.

Another big expense was Gym and Gun range. $250 for me to get a 4 month membership. I only got the membership to last till BB is home from the season then we might want to join a new gym together. I'm not in love with this gym. Certainly don't love the price!

Gun range expenses have hopefully stopped. BB wants me to have a gun on me at all times now that I live alone in a city. So we took 2 trips out to the range for me to learn how to shoot my gun. I bought the gun 2 months ago- but wanted some more practice sessions so I don't kill anything I didn't intend to kill.

Actually, looking over the past month (and blogging about it), I can see where the money went, and what it accomplished. It was a lot spent. More than we had to spend. But it was extracurricular expenses that were so high, not the monthly bills. So in May I can cut back. Be more aware, and we will make it within our means.