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wedding venting

October 8th, 2008 at 01:49 am

Poor Baseball boy-

One of his very close friends from high school just called to say he will not be attending our destination wedding in GA in 3 weeks because he is broke.

This is not unusual. This has been the mantra that I have been hearing the last few months. The price of gas for planes, hotel rooms, food...it adds up. I understand.

HOWEVER, this guy should be coming. He makes almost 100k a year and lived in his parents basement for years saving while he worked. A few years ago he bought a townhouse for 400k.

And his story continues like every overextended American. He called talking about how he bought the place with no money down, the arm just reset,yada yada.

Poor boy. He drives a BMW. And he cant afford to fly down because he just took his GF to south Florida and lost almost a thousand dollars gambling....

So all those financial things combined with our wedding in a few weeks and all those associated costs...he just cant come.

Now here is the kicker- We sent a Save the Date to him a YEAR AND A HALF ago. And BB has been dating me almost 9 years...so it's not like this wedding was in danger of being canceled. Then we sent him a detailed letter explaining transportation options, hotel options ext. in July. Then he received the invitation last month.

BB was in a close knit high school group of 4 guys...1 canceled because he has arranged to go on vacation with his GF to Disney the same weekend???...and now this. So 2 guys will be there- which seems worse somehow- that the richest guy of the group is bailing here.

And financially this sucks for BB and me. We pre-booked an entire 25 room bed and breakfast for the wedding for the whole weekend to ensure that our guests would all stay in the same place, and it would be cozy and romantic for everyone. Well the inn charges $200-$250 per room a night (plus tax)- but BB and I know none of our friends can afford that- so we told everyone the inn costs $100 a night and we plan to cover the rest of the cost. We paid 12k to the inn anticipating $4400 back (each room generates $200 back minus the bridal party that we are covering in full). Now people are dropping like flies and we are covering the full cost of the empty rooms. Frown 5 empty rooms and counting....

I cant help it. I am ANGRY. I feel like I am stuck paying for this guy because he chose to be irresponsible with money and lives a lavish life. He promised us he was coming- we counted on it and now we're stuck paying...kind of like the Great American Bailout on a personal scale.

And to think that everyone is Sooo excited when they are invited and you cut friends off the invitation list because there is no room...and now I have 1 friend from high school who is not speaking to me because she was not invited, and now we have about 20 people who are not coming!!Grrr...

Wedding planning is not fun anymore

Sorry just had to vent

Posted in My November Wedding!! Ouch on $$, fun on planning! | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “wedding venting”

  1. whitestripe Says:
    October 8th, 2008 at 02:21 am 1223432466
    1223432466

    aww you poor thing, that must suck! i'd come as a fill in if i lived near you! (just joking!)
    hope nothing else goes wrong.
    and remember, the worse the wedding, the better the marriage, so i've been told.

  2. baselle Says:
    October 8th, 2008 at 03:23 am 1223436217
    1223436217

    I feel for you - you should be angry. In a sense, you planned the wedding against the economic conditions as they existed a couple of years ago. This economic firestorm gives everyone a cover for not attending.

    To keep yourself from going insane, I'd try to concentrate on who is coming. Since folks are at least not canceling in the last-last minute, is it possible to renegotiate the rooms? I hate to insert a joke here, but if everyone cancels, eloping is an option.

  3. homebody Says:
    October 8th, 2008 at 03:26 am 1223436400
    1223436400

    Game, I am so sorry. I know this is going to sound cheesy or dismissive, but I don't mean it to, just concentrate on you and game boy, you are the two most important people there.

  4. gamecock43 Says:
    October 8th, 2008 at 04:22 am 1223439728
    1223439728

    I just keep thinking about how this guy has the life that BB and I hope to SOMEDAY have (But we don't need the BMW) and he achieved everything by being irresponsible. Yet- we ARE responsible and we have nothing to show for it. Makes me want to just buy a house now and worry about how to pay for it later.

  5. Broken Arrow Says:
    October 8th, 2008 at 12:25 pm 1223468722
    1223468722

    Yeah, that must really be frustrating.

    I wish I could make 100k living in my mom's basement. Wow, think of the things I can accomplish then (minus conspicuous consumption).

    As for him, don't worry. We are the turtles so to speak. The hares always look flashier at first, but we are the ones who will win the race.

  6. mbkonef Says:
    October 8th, 2008 at 12:52 pm 1223470342
    1223470342

    Don't sweat the small stuff and in my mind, people who would do this to you ARE the small stuff. If it was really important to him, he could have set money aside rather than losing a bunch gambling. When dealing with "friends" like this, sometimes you have to realize that you (BB boy) may value the friendship more than they do. I am not saying cut him out of your lives, just don't give people like that the power to ruin your happy day. It is his loss that he is not enough of a friend to do what needed to be done to ensure that he could attend his friends wedding.

  7. Ima saver Says:
    October 8th, 2008 at 02:47 pm 1223477231
    1223477231

    I am so sorry to hear that. My dh and I got married at my home. we had food and liquor and the total cost of our wedding was about $100. I thought everything was beautiful and don't regret a thing.

  8. sillyoleme Says:
    October 8th, 2008 at 10:36 pm 1223505364
    1223505364

    Don't let the no-shows get you down. They had plenty of time to plan for this, especially if they assured you before that they were coming.

    I agree with others - focus on you and BB and you will have a great day! Think about all those people that are coming, that would be there no matter what. And this may be really awkward, but is there anyone you could invite now to fill the extra rooms, that wouldn't be mad at being a second option?

  9. gamecock43 Says:
    October 9th, 2008 at 12:13 pm 1223554400
    1223554400

    we did try inviting people buy no one can afford it. This wedding is across the country for all guests. Mass, NY and FL are where the guests will be flying in from. It just is what it is.

    BB's dad offered to offer to pay for the 'broke' friend, but BB refused because the dad and friend make about equal money.

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