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Home > My man, the starving artist type~ Updated!

My man, the starving artist type~ Updated!

June 13th, 2008 at 09:17 am

Well, I wanted to give you all an update and answer some of your questions regarding my post yesterday describing baseball boy's financial weaknesses.

First, baseball boy is exactly what you guys assumed him to be, he is a sweetheart. He loves me, and takes care of me in so many ways, he gives me everything in his power to give me. He has seen me being really bitchy, he has seen me really selfish, and he has seen me really say rotten things to him and he forgives, he moves on, and he gets me thai food to cheer me up.

Second, to clarify life in the minor leagues..I think I was a bit general yesterday and I know someone will bring up an example of a minor leaguer making 15k a month. Triple A guys and guys who have previously made an appearence in the majors get paid serious cash. Obviously, baseball boy has not made it that far or we would not be having this problem.

Third, it is HIGHLY unlikely at this point baseball boy will make it any closer to triple A or the majors. Last year it was a definate possibility, and when it seemed like it was going to be a waiting game to see this pay off, I have no problem waiting. But this year is completely different, he was demoted, he's a year older, and his performance has been off. His dream is to PLAY professional baseball, not make it to the majors, so he is living his dream now. Last year was exciting, and this year was a letdown, but there will be no breakdown by him realizing he may never advance farther.

Fourth, yes merch. I do have house faver. I cant help it. My early twenties was spent with everyone telling me the best, smartest thing to do is to buy a house. Best return on my money, "buy now so your house will double in a few years!" Now everyone is telling me that NOW is the smartest time to buy a house because its a buyers market. "Buy now because you will never be able to find such good deals!" LOL. The market went upside down but the advice stayed the same! I have been furiously saving for 3 yrs now with my eye on one goal, and I'm in a position to do it finally!

Now, onto the update~
Baseball boy and I talked last night. We made some progress. I am not fully satisfied, but he finally said "I figured you were going to bring this up again, and I know you will just keep asking me questions until you run out of energy, so start."

He has some fears about the whole house buying thing and his lifestyle. Oddly enough, I had already considered and taken all this into account but I guess he thought it would be a problem.

So here were his fears:

If we buy then that means I stay behind each season, while he travels to whatever team will have him. The past 2 years I have traveled with him. So next year I would stay behind and work full time to pay the mortgage and bills. Once he is done playing ball and becomes a minor league coach (his plan B), he will still travel each season because that job only gives 1 yr contracts and has very little security. So we expect him to be coaching a different team every year, or every few years making it impossible to buy where he works. I have realized this, and the traveling and living with him yr round are qualities I am ready to sacrifice for roots and stability.

Baseball boy is worried that when we buy a house he will be unable to immediately find off season work. We live in a FL suburb town right now because 6 yrs ago he had spring training in this town and although he was released from that team the very next year, we just never saw the point in moving. His next team was in AZ and why move cross country to get moved again? I have grown to HATE this FL area but I started school earning a masters for the past 3 yrs so we were stuck.
While I was at school, Baseball boy was building a client base at the baseball school. It took him an entire off season to build his reputation and earn clients, and he worries that moving back to the south (where we both want to be) will leave him with no work for an entire off season.

He didnt come out and tell me this next problem, but I have figured it out. He actually has grown to really like FL. Every year I become more restless to get out of Florida, and he gets more comfortable here. In the past I told him that keeping me in FL when we are finally able to leave is grounds for me leaving him. I just graduated school in May, so I can leave, leave, leave! We both went to undergrad in the South (USC Gamecocks!)and we initially both wanted to settle down,raise kids in the south. So I can see Baseball boy adjusting to the southern lifestyle easily once he is back in the south.

And finally, he stunned me with his one last night- In the event he cannot find a baseball teaching job when we move, he wants to work part time at a desk type job to help with the bills, but is worried that he will be earning minimum wage (no office skills on this boys resume) and worries that I will get more frusterated with him (he needs to work part time to still be available to practice and work out). Awww...that was sweet of him.
But I had already planned on him contributing no income for the first off season while he built a client base, so I am just happy he offered to work at all!

Buying a house is not important to him, and after last night, I can understand why. Baseball boy has always planned to live a gypsie lifestyle. He would move from state to state playing or coaching, and never spend a year in one town. His priorities were to first find a girl who was willing to let him do this, and second, to earn enough money so she could travel with him and be happy. That has been his gameplan from the beginning, and in his mind, he had achieved it and was sucessful.

He layed this life out for me when we first started dating, and to me, it was a dream come true. Travel the country and live in every time zone? No brainer, I was on board! And we were young. He only knew that if he was offered the chance to play pro ball, he would do it. We were too young to think of a second career after that. It just naturally evolved into him wanting to coach professionally too.

But now, I am ready for other things. I am ready to have something to show for my life, I am ready for my own career, I am ready to have kids, to have options, not be told where to go, what to do and where to live.
And he gets that. He just feels he cannot really have a say in the decisions made because it will be 'my life' half the year, and if he wants to keep me he has to make sure I am happy. And forcing me to keep living this life, or forcing me to keep renting in FL will no longer keep me happy.

So we never got to how get him more financially independant from me or his dad (yes! I am an enabler! But I figured it's better I help him because we are a team!)and we have not talked the logistics of how we will really do this, but it's progress. Next I will work on getting Baseball boy to completely live within his means. And we are making progress on that front too, yesterday he stopped playing his video game because he was near completing it but doesnt want to trade it in for a new game because it will be expensive. Smile

7 Responses to “My man, the starving artist type~ Updated!”

  1. scrimpandsave Says:

    I'm happy to hear things are working out. My fiance doesn't make any income either...but it is because he is in law school. I sure hope it pays off. Smile

  2. snoopycool Says:


    Yeah, Florida can be a bore. I've grown to like it more, though.

    I'm glad you guys are working it out.

  3. koppur Says:

    I'm glad you two were able to talk honestly and openly. Good luck to you both!

  4. gamecock43 Says:

    Suns? Thats basketball! I think.

  5. pretty cheap jewelry Says:

    So here is my 2c:

    1. It is soooo hard to be objective and see this from a clear point of view when you are the one involved.

    2. No matter who this guy is, sweet/dreamer/financial runt/daddys boy/whatnot you are not going to be able change him. Every person going into a wedding needs to add that to their vows.

    3. You can only work on yourself. Do you accept that. Get a house if YOU want it. Support him financially if YOU want to. Let him live his dream (baseball etc) if YOU want to. Give up your dreams (of location) if YOU want to. Detect the pattern?

    4. This is hard to do when you are young and gets way easier to cope with when you are older, as I myself am.

    Thx for listening.

  6. snoopycool Says:

    Baseball's never been hotter than the Jacksonville Suns.


  7. ihate2work Says:

    It seems that you 2 have a rather realistic view on life. Your BB Boy is living a dream of many to be playing a childrens game for 6 months and getting paid to do it. He seems to have a good understandign of his place in his organization. 6 years in the minors and I am assuming his highest level is AA, then the chances are slim of him advancing. He understands who his teams drafts and who is moving up behind him on a fast track to the majors. Maybe the only chance for him to reach the majors is the Rule 5 draft. Any teams scout him for next year? I can understand him wanting to stay in until he is cut by the team. In a way, he is playing now and will have to work later to make steady income. The fact that there is a coaching interest around him shows for a good sign after his playing days. In a way, after he has had his fun and you have supported him, it is time for him to support you. Then in about 20+ plus years, the same situation might come up again with your kids. Good luck and thanks for sharing.

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