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I dont wanna go

February 3rd, 2010 at 03:37 pm

So BB and I had a heart to heart last night. About the new Townhouse purchase.

Over the last few days it has quietly dawned on me that I am really really in love with our current house and the idea of moving out of it causes me to cry.

I have been fighting this feeling because logically- moving to the townhouse is a big step up. Plus I was initially excited about the whole thing and never told BB in the beginning that I dont want to leave. So I have kept quiet.

But last night I just kept bursting into tears every time I thought about something in the house that I would miss.

Last night it was the thought of leaving all the huge oak trees that line our street and the crepe myrtle tree directly in front of the house. It is so fun to watch squirrels running up and down those large oak branches in the summer.

The new street has 1 large oak tree and the rest is all skinny sapling trees.

So I confessed to BB that I dont want to move. I dont love the new townhouse- at best I Kind-of-Like-It. I explained that I put everything into this house- every decision with this house was heavily pondered and I always wanted to use only the best materials because I love the house and considered every expense a long term investment. My heart sings when I pull up to this house after work and this house makes going to work everyday worth it.

The new townhouse is good. I dont love the house- but I do love the location. But I cannot say that I wont have fits of regret leaving our current house.

BB surprised me. He loves our house too! He completely understands and he said he feels very similar. He is excited for a big kitchen. He is excited for more room and to live in a reletively safe neighborhood. But he much prefers our house to the townhouse.

But he feels very strongly that moving into this townhouse is a step towards increasing our net worth. I actually agree. The townhouse purchase price is insanely low. It's in the worst condition of a completely renovated middle class location. If we renovate and upgrade it- we should have no problem selling it for a profit.

We dont want to try to "flip" it because that seems risky given the market and numerous flip failures everywhere.

Plus- this might be a one time opportunity to really make some money and we dont want to be impatient and lose a very marketable property by selling in a down market.

Plus- if we do "flip it"-we are still living in a house in a bad neighborhood. Though I personally love the neighborhood and the city is making strides to crack down on crime in the area- it's still one of the best houses on the block. BB wanted to wait a few years for the market to rebound and our neighborhood to improve before putting more money into it.

So thats the decision we came to. We will go forward with our plan to renovate/ upgrade and move into the townhouse. We will live in it a few years and wait for the market to improve. When renovations on the townhouse are done, BB and I will talk about the potential future value of the house. When the townhouse hits that pre-determined value- we sell. Meanwhile- the craftsman home duplex will be earning rent and still be ours. We then take the money and re-asses the craftsman home neighborhood. If we want- we return back so I can enjoy the oak trees and coffered ceiling.

I just had to make BB promise me I would not get "trapped" in the townhouse. He has been so excited about the place I could not determine if it was the thrill of the deal-the idea of demo and renovation, or if we were going to be constructing his dream home. I was worried that BB would enjoy the townhouse so much that he never wanted to leave.

Luckily- BB is on board with me- and see's this as a temporary adventure to get us to a more secure future.

11 Responses to “I dont wanna go”

  1. thriftorama Says:

    Wow. that's pretty serious. If you LOVE the house, don't leave it. How many people can say their heart sings when they get home from work? Not many. I beleive you have to love your house to make sending that monthly mortgage check easier. Don't move. You will regret it.

    I loved my last house. I could see Live Oak trees out my bedroom windows. It was like sleeping in a treehouse. I really miss that, and the flowering ginger and phildendron in m jungle-like backyard. We HAD to leave, thanks to a hurricane. But if you don't have to, why move?

  2. momcents Says:


    I am with thriftorama on this one. Seems to me that BB has done lots of jumping from place-to-place with his job (being traded from team to team or whatever). I don't think that translates well into grown-up life (not commenting on his maturity level, though it does appear that you are the mature one in the relationship). If you are leaving a place you love, only to return to it, maybe you shouldn't be leaving in the first place? I'd be careful about having BB make promises to you that might not be kept in the future. Listen to your gut. Sounds to me like you needed to talk yourself into the decision, and that is NOT a good sign. Bursting into tearing should be a good indication to you that this is not the time to make this move. Sometime present happiness is more important that a perceived long-term net worth gain.

  3. ceejay74 Says:

    Can't you rent out the townhome and stay in the duplex?

  4. gamecock43 Says:

    Now you guys are making me rethink it all! Really 2 years is not so bad to stay in the townhouse...but yes- if we want, we can rent out the townhouse and go back to the craftsman home.

  5. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Oh, no! From the pictures you posted of your craftsman, I just feel like you have such a special place. I love it, too. I'd be sad for you to go live somewhere else, too! Why am I, nobody related to you or the situation, just a faceless script of babble on the internet, dismayed to think you'd be "moving up" while melting _down_ into a puddle of disappointed, anxious, sadness?...Rent out the town house, stay in your duplex! Home is where the heart is.

  6. whitestripe Says:

    I know you probably don't want to think about this but I will say it anyway: people won't care for your beloved house as much as you do if you rent it out Frown I'm not saying don't do it, because it DOES make sense as a wise financial and investment move... however, you must be prepared for the worst when renting it out.

  7. Ima saver Says:

    I have to agree, renters will not take care of your house like you will. Buy the town house and rent it out. Sell it when the market picks up.

  8. patientsaver Says:

    Hmmm, the very same thing happened to me. That is, i didn't realize until i had my house up for sale 3 years ago how much i loved my home and hometown. It really made me reassess. I don't think you should leave a house you love so much. Listen to your gut, not your brain, on this one. Investment properties are one thing, the home you live in is another.

  9. M E 2 Says:



    Add me to the "stay put" club. I can't even begin to fathom why you would leave a home you love for a house you don't. Net worth increase or not. In the end, money isn't everything and you can't take it with you.

  10. homebody Says:

    I have lived in the same house for 22 years, don't love it, but felt some strange attachment since I raised my kids here. Am thinking we would have been smarter to have moved around some. Now that the kids are grown and have their own homes, I realize home is where your family is.

  11. baselle Says:

    I'm with the rest in the "stay put" club. Do you think that BB is more excited about the next house because it feels more like his deal while the house you are in is more like your deal?

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