Well, I guess I have a full time permanent job. My boss was not in the office today, but I am on the schedule for Monday, and the HR staff sent me paperwork to fill out.

Looking through the papers, I learned: That I am being paid $10 hr, I do not get benefits, I get 5 vacation days after 1 yr work, I do not get a raise/evaluation until December.

I am disappointed. I certainly expected a full time position that I ended up in would pay a good amount more, and provide benefits. Emotionally I swing from anger and feeling used to happy to be employed. I am angry at myself for naming such a low pay and believing I would be happy at that level of pay. I was just so tired of not getting the other jobs, that I thought pay might be a tipping factor in favor of hiring me- so I undercut myself by a lot. Now I have negative thoughts about this job. It's my own fault, but I am bitter.

I know most jobs only provide at the most 5% raises, and at that rate it would take me 5 or more years to make the money I earned at my last job- so I guess I worked my way into a situation where I have to leave this job. Just a matter of figuring out the timing. How long to stay and have them be a great reference? Whats the shortest I can stay and use them as a great reference?

I am not sure what I am going to do as far as looking for other employment, but if that University job I talked about earlier comes calling, I should have no guilt leaving this job behind.

Anyways, today work was easier than it's been. I am getting better at the job. Or- I am getting better at figuring things out. There is still much to learn, but since I now know the basics- the rest is getting easier.

Hey- at least I accomplished one of my 2009 goals! (getting a full time job).

And at least I will have a positive cash flow rather than the negative cash flow of the last 3 1/2 months. Now I can get started accomplishing those other 2009 goals!

(See?? Bitterness to optimism, I don't know how I feel about this job.)