Ok, I'm gonna lay it out. It's all going out on the table for everyone to gasp and tell me I am way overspending on this wedding. I know I'm overspending! I'm just not sure where! (Except the hair and makeup~ thats just ridiculous but it was the best option I could find).
*sigh* I dont like doing this. I really have entered a scary territory where the numbers are higher than I imagined they could ever be.
If you tend to have a queezy stomach, or have high blood pressure- turn away. Go read someone elses blog. This wont be pretty.
Reception location and lodging~ $7600
JOP $150
Dress $1300
Suit $500
Cake(s) $360.00
Wedding planner $1,000
Ceremony location $405
Horse Carriage $200
violinist at ceremony $150
Food $1800
Alcohal $1000
Hair & makeup $560 (3 bridesmaids and me)
Invitations and STD (+ stamps!)$115
Wedding rings $1200
Reception Band $1000
Flowers $544
Photographer 700
Bartender $125
Guest transportation (rent 2 15person vans) $800
--------------
$19,509
Need to get:
mens shirt to go with suit
mens shoes to go with suit
veil
my wedding shoes
Rehersal dinner dress
Wedding earrings
groomsmans gift (1)
Plus:
tipping and taxes
Altogether, over 1 yr of my GROSS annual income is going to be poured into this destination city in one weekend. And they say destination weddings are cheaper than at home weddings. I beg to differ.
I GOTTA cut, just not sure where yet. I hand made invitations (and it's still expensive!) I am making flower bouquets for extended family that need flowers, and I wouldnt feel right cutting things like food or transportation because that affects the guests who are all paying $$ to fly in for the wedding.
Final wedding numbers...
July 8th, 2008 at 07:56 pm
July 8th, 2008 at 08:34 pm 1215549291
July 8th, 2008 at 08:47 pm 1215550047
July 8th, 2008 at 09:09 pm 1215551397
You just have so many things you want in your wedding which is creating a lot more expenses to worry about. If you really need to cut back on the wedding fund, why not cut out some stuff that won't make and break a wedding such as the horse carriage? 200 dollars sounds cheap but it seems you chose a very expensive location and lodging. How many people are you covering for on lodging?
Do you really need a wedding planner as it seems you are a very proactive person who finds out what is needed already? Can you assign a good friend or family to be day of wedding planner?
July 8th, 2008 at 09:12 pm 1215551574
I have been to weddings costing 80k and weddings costing like 10k. Personally to me, it doesn't make a difference as long as everyone is having a great time.
I went to a backyard wedding with a justice of the peace and coolers filled with beer and wine. Everything was casual. I wore shorts an a golf shirt. Had a bbq and a nice campfire at night. Had a great time!!!
Just start with what you want to spend and then what do you need to have fun. Dark suits in the summer sun does not equal fun. But a BBQ, some drinks, a DJ and a campfire, that could be some fun.
No one rembers the food or cake or flowers from the wedding. Only whether it was fun!!!
Good luck!! Hope I helped.
Start with the budget and then jam it with fun and it will be a great wedding.
July 8th, 2008 at 09:32 pm 1215552775
Merch~ I like that you enjoyed your BBQ wedding, but heres my dilemma. Since this is a destination wedding where only 3 of the 60 guests actually live in the state, I feel obligated to ensure that the guests get treated right, and are impressed, and return home feeling that their plane ticket was well worth the $ spent. If you pay $600 for airfare for you and a date, plus $200 for a 2 day hotel stay, you expect more than a BBQ. It would break my heart to think my friends sacrificed to be there for me, and came away annoyed and wished they had not come.
I am splitting the hotel cost with the guests, the hotel charges $200 a night, but guests are paying $100 a night...I would not feel comfortable asking guests to pay for airfare, and then to stay at a hotel that costs more $ than I myself have ever stayed in.
I already cut the flowers a bunch, I am just going to STICK with the numbers posted, not go a penny over, and walk away at 20k. Asking guests to pay for airfare and hotel for a 20k wedding should be worthwhile.
And Gruntina~ I shouldnt have gone with the wedding planner. I know. That was a bad decision. My reception location REQUIRES a wedding planner, and I debated just asking my friend to pretend to be a wedding planner, but since I have never planned a wedding, I thought maybe I couldnt pull the wedding off on my own. But the planner is not necessary. Asking vendors to take my money has been a piece of cake. Wedding planners are in with reality TV to create an aura of importance when they are really not.
July 8th, 2008 at 09:35 pm 1215552950
July 8th, 2008 at 09:43 pm 1215553396
July 8th, 2008 at 09:46 pm 1215553586
July 8th, 2008 at 10:02 pm 1215554560
It looks like you've made each element important... not just a few things that really matter.
You're the one who has to pay the bills long after the ceremony is over, not your guests.
Make sure that the things you choose to spend money on are things that are important to you... not because you think that they are expected or because bridal ettiquette says you need to have/do that thing.
did you make sure that your location/venue didn't have special rates with companies for photography, cakes and food? Alot of time if someone works with that venue alot, they give special rates.
Does your venue or hotel offer shuttle services? this could be a cheaper way to go than renting vans.
July 8th, 2008 at 10:17 pm 1215555458
My fiance justifies it by saying if we get married in his NY hometown them the guest list would be tripled. So maybe I am breaking even no matter which way I went.
July 8th, 2008 at 10:22 pm 1215555775
Also, I think a wedding should really be a celebration of a relationship. I mean, I've been together with BF for almost four years now, and in that time we have gone through so much (together and as individuals), have grown so much, sacrificed so much for each other, that I feel like the wedding should be a celebration of what we have. And haven't you been with your future husband for 10 years? Everyone is different, and some people just aren't into big shindigs, but a wedding is (hopefully) once in a lifetime.
When it's all said and done, you and your husband are going to be the ones footing the bill, and if the dress you have or the pictures you get are worth it... then it's worth it!
July 8th, 2008 at 10:35 pm 1215556551
July 8th, 2008 at 10:43 pm 1215557025
July 8th, 2008 at 11:20 pm 1215559220
Okay, certain things are a done deal and certain things really can't be cut. I get it that you can't ask guests to a destination wedding to just eat cheese & crackers and drink keg beer. So ... to focus on what can be reasonably contained, these are my suggestions:
- Cancel the horse carriage, if it's not too late.
- Don't buy a veil. You are going to spend a fortune on that hair and makeup, so why cover it up? And why detract from what I'm sure must be a gorgeous dress. Why not just bring a couple of the flowers you are already paying for to the salon and ask them to tuck them in to your hair.
- Don't buy wedding earrings. Borrow some. If your mom or grandma or sister has a pair you like, that would be a lovely sentimental gesture to wear their earrings as your "something borrowed."
- Don't even think of buying a rehersal dinner dress! Just wear something you already have.
- This is my platinum advice. It will be hard to follow, but believe me someday you will be glad you followed it, if you do. As soon as the wedding is over, have the dress cleaned and then put it up for sale, either at a consignment shop, on Craigslist, or on eBay. Maybe you could recoup half of what you paid for it, and wouldn't that be a big help? Please don't think for a minute that your daughter will someday wear your dress, or that you'll find some wonderful use for it. It will sit in your closet taking up space. Each time you move you will have to transport it. I loved my dress, but before my cross country move I finally realized there was no purpose in lugging it from place to place anymore. My little niece is very happy with her latest addition to her dress up chest!
July 8th, 2008 at 11:42 pm 1215560561
I admit I've saved my wedding dress, but not one of my three daughters will be the right size for it. Two are taller than I am and one is teeny tiny. I've thought about making it into pillows or something. Not sure that I could really sell it.
Okay, I would cut the hair styling for over $500. You want to look natural on your wedding day. You'll already look special in the dress! I have seen brides who have hair and makeup done and end up practically unrecognizable to me. You want to look like you!
I would also say to spend minimally on wedding shoes. Definitely something comfortable that you will wear again.
Also, you might be able to rent a larger number of minivans for less than the 15 person vans.
And you shouldn't be trying to impress anyone. You're not putting on a show, you're making a commitment to someone you love. People don't have to come to your wedding. If it is important to them, they will come. Don't feel responsible to entertain/make them feel pampered. This is YOUR wedding, not theirs, and they should feel honored to be asked to be a part of your celebration.
I would agree with cancel the carriage and don't buy a new dress for the rehearsal. It's just $250 now, but $250 invested at 10% over 20 years...
My wedding cost about $10,000 in 1990. But, my parents insisted on some things, and they paid (had budgeted for it, wanted fancy food, the "best" flowers). Looking back, my husband was what mattered most. The flowers were nice, we didn't get to eat ourselves, and what other people thought about my wedding isn't anything I would think about now!
Good luck! It will all work out!
July 9th, 2008 at 12:08 am 1215562132
July 9th, 2008 at 12:17 am 1215562662
We were roughly quoted $150 a day for a 15 person van, we need 2 for 3 days, but I will look into renting more smaller vehicles for cheaper, I didnt think of that. I dont want to put the burden of driving on my friends, they are heavy drinkers and that would be cruel.
I rented the entire Inn completely out, so we got a group rate there.
Suit is paid for. We got a business suit and figured it will get lots of life professionally-eventually.
I am accepting these prices. I am thinking this is a comprehensive wedding. So that means I can say "no!" when people or FH asks for something in the future. Something will come up. But I will say NO.
July 9th, 2008 at 01:55 am 1215568515
July 9th, 2008 at 02:17 am 1215569876
July 9th, 2008 at 02:19 pm 1215613148
July 22nd, 2008 at 03:22 pm 1216740142
July 26th, 2008 at 01:45 am 1217036734
i agree with the horse and carriage thing. do you have a friend with a cool car?
a wedding i went to last year was of two friends that we have known for a long long time (BF has known them since school). they had no band. and no violinist. their wedding was a very memorable one and everyone talks about it now. would you like to know the music they had? well, the groom made a playlist on his ipod, and borrowed some top quality speakers from a dj friend.
the parents paid for the alcohol, which i heard topped $5000.
flowers are something you can cut back on. i dont remember the flowers at our friends wedding. the only thing i remember about them was that the bride said to me "oh my god i can't wait until these photos are over so i can put this bouquet down, it's so freaking heavy"