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Wedding prices...need advice!

June 23rd, 2008 at 08:44 pm

Today is wedding planning day. And rather than asking soon-to be-brides questions on wedding websites about some of my concerns, I am turning to you, a mix of recently married, non-married and seasoned married veterans to help me with some budget concerns.

1. I need to hire a bartender with a liquor license. I contacted one man who explains that he can provide a bartender for $25 hr who will pick up the alcohal, take it to the reception, set it up, serve, dismantal and clean up, returning unused bottles to the company. The price for the alcohal is only a dollar or two above store prices. But I must plan to pay for the bartender to spend 2-3 hrs for the running around plus the serving time.
~ I'm thinking the cheaper way to go is for ME to buy alchohal, have my wedding planner set it up, and just pay the bartender to come, serve and leave. Right? Or is buying/setting up myself a huge hassle? The man made it sound like it's standard to request the bartender to pick up/drop off the alcohal.

2. Wedding hairstyles. I have called several salons. The CHEAPEST I can find is $80 an updo (and there is a total of 4 people plus me). Plus the cost of $50 pp makeup. To get by as cheaply as I can, should I forgo the bridal hair trial? I have very long hair, but I want a pretty standard half updo. I dont live in the city, so I have never used their services, they were recommended to me by my photographer.
And why is the BRIDES hair $25 more than the rest of the parties? And why is a bridal party hair updo $30 more than a normal updo?
~ I know you will suggest not telling them it's for a wedding, but really, how do you get away with that? 5 women walk into a salon early in the morning needing formal updos...even if no one mentions the word 'wedding' on the day of the wedding, I still think the salon will flat out ask me why we are getting updos.

~Tipping. I know I have to tip. I guess this is a vent. Why am I tipping for a service I have written into a contract will be provided and I will pay the contracted price?

3. Bridal party gifts. I dont want to give gifts because I am paying for their and their dates hotel rooms @ $200 a night (2 nights). I am considering paying for their hair/makeup too. (I probably will). So how can I graciously explain to them the high costs of this and not have them expect 'something' as a bridal party gift?
I know they would understand and be grateful if they knew the prices of this stuff, but I dont know how to tell them without going into price details and sounding tacky or whiny.

4. Wedding insurance~ worth it or not? Have not looked into it because, well who uses it?

hmmm...thats it for now.

Spending update:
June 21/ $32 spent for overpriced Mexican lunch for Baseball boy and myself
June 22/$40 spent for Baseball boys monthly clubhouse dues.

14 Responses to “Wedding prices...need advice!”

  1. sounderella Says:
    1214254800

    Do you have a Regis hair salon near you? I got my hair done there and my bridesmaid's back in April and it was $45 each and that included my hair + the trial run. They also gave me a $15 coupon to use a wk before the wedding for waxing.

    I would do your own makeup. Or...does one of your friends just do their makeup well all of the time? Maybe she could do it.

    I'd suggest buy your liquor yourself at Sams. However, I'd ask your wedding planner to set it up for you because you're gonna be pulled in several different directions the day of. As far as the tip goes, usually they go ahead and put 20% into the price...or at least mine did.

    As for the gift situation, maybe you could give each person a thank you card and just tell everyone at once that you're paying for that stuff. If they're anyway resepctful, they'll understand you've spent a lot and that was a gift in itself.

    Good Luck!

  2. gamecock43 Says:
    1214255110

    oh...that sounds good, i like Regis. I will look into that today! And I agree buying my own liquor. Anda card is a good idea, just stating something like, "I appreciate your participation and want to thank you by paying for your 2 day hotel stay and hair/ makeup for the ceremony." That works.

  3. JanH Says:
    1214256218

    I would check on the makeup before your big day. My sis-in-law's DS's date for the prom broke out in some sort of rash from the makeup used from wherever she had it done. She had to remove it and apply her own (painfully) before the prom. I never thought to check that out to make sure you aren't allergic to some ingredient!

  4. debtfreeme Says:
    1214260496

    i have not read through the entire entry today or the responses you have gotten but i have planed or worked on a lot of weddings in the past few years.

    One thing i learned, when retailers or workers hear "Wedding" the money chimes go off. It is better to say: we are having a party or an event and i would like XXX YYY ZZZ to happen. If you can get away from the idea of a wedding and just tell them it is a Party you stand a better shot of getting a better price.

    And spring for the updo trial. It should be no charge (or minimal) as long as you agree to work with them the day of the wedding. And take pictures of your hair so you can remind then what you want and don't want when they do the hair.

  5. debtfreeme Says:
    1214260571

    and as a bridal party member, having the hotel, hair and make up done, i think I would consider it a gift!

  6. scfr Says:
    1214261250

    Would just buying matching lipsticks for each member of the wedding party be an acceptable alternative to having everyone's makeup done professionally?

  7. gamecock43 Says:
    1214262175

    If im paying $700 for pics...i just think i gotta make sure the people in the pics look good! I went to a friends wedding 3 yrs ago and alot of my good friends were in the party. Let me tell you, the pro makeup woman did a GOOD job on my friends, I couldnt believe how pretty the girls were compared to their normal makeup routine.

  8. baselle Says:
    1214262615

    Ulp. Elope? Big Grin

  9. sillyoleme Says:
    1214266460

    I agree with some others, I think you should go ahead and get the trial updo. You know no matter how much you explain something or show pictures, there's always a possibility that your stylist is thinking something completely different from you. Just knowing that you've got it nailed down will make for a little less stress for you on your big day.

    As for the makeup... I really don't know. I've thought about this alot myself (as far as what I will do on my day), and I guess it depends on how "easy" you are to make-up. I have fair skin, so it's hard for other people to match foundation to me. I usually come out looking like I've stuck my face in a bowl of peanut butter. But I agree w/ you on the wedding pics, having a professional do your makeup can certainly help.

    For the favors, I would go with the card or something similar. I was a bridesmaid for my aunt, and she handed out our favors at a rehearsal dinner. They ended up being a pair of earrings and necklace (probably $20 each person) that we could wear to match in the wedding and then have. And I thought that was nice!

  10. jIM_Ohio Says:
    1214267279

    My wife paid close to that for her bridal partie's hair- that was part of her gift to bridesmaids. She also bought them matching jewelry. On second thought maybe the girls paid for their hair. Our wedding was in a suburb of cincinnati.

    My sister's wedding on Long Island had my wife pay 2X as much for an updo as she pays here for a normal haircut. Find someone which works out of their house or runs a private small salon and see if they can low ball the other quotes. Avoid chains which set prices for profit reasons.

    I think the hotel rooms can be thought of as the gift. For the men in my wedding, I paid for the tuxes for the 3 groomsman and they all said that was better than any gift I could have come up with.

  11. Marie Casas Says:
    1214284566

    Do you have beauty schools near you? I've dropped in on one high-end CAS (Center for Aesthetic Studies?), it's a beauty school affiliated with Franck Provost. They teach the students there and I expect they'd be more than willing to have you as a model in their portfolio in exchange for services.
    About the bar, is it cash/open bar? If all the drinks are free, gosh, I can't imagine how to budget for that. I read in an etiquette book, I don't remember maybe it was a personal finance book, that it's actually okay to set up a cash bar. Your guests shouldn't expect you to run up debts just to hold a wedding party.

  12. Koppur Says:
    1214319893

    You might want to consider looking for some people to do bartending, hair and makeup that are not employed by companies. Maybe place some ads on craigslist in the wanted section, or ask around to your friends or parents friends.

  13. gamecock43 Says:
    1214320465

    Ok to update, i have decided to get the bartender to just arrive, serve, leave. By law he has to have a liquor license so Icant place a craigslist ad for anyone. And the other problem I worry about is accountability. Going with a company, I am pretty sure they will arrive on the right day at the right time, and not have me in tears on my wedding day.
    For hair, I calledRegis but the woman was not to helpful, and said she cant give me a price without meeting each girl and inspecting her hair for length and thickness and style, so I let that one go.
    Makeup, we'll see. And wedding insurance, we'll see.

  14. CouponAddict Says:
    1214332700

    I can only address #2 & #3.

    #2. Please make sure you do the prewedding day practice, then take a picture of the desired result. If you dont the morning of your wedding you could only plan for two hours for hair and it take four, or you find out after they have it up, you hate it and want a modified updo.

    #3. The wedding hotel is great. The hairdo/makeup/manicure paid for, is kind of a must if you are going to be upset if they want to do it themselves. As for jewelry, are you going to have them wear some? Alot of the weddings I have been in the jewelry was the gift because that is what the bride wanted us to wear.

    How does BF feel about all this? Have you talked to him about the groomsman gifts?

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